Pain as a living thing

The last two weeks, the pain has been immense, amazing, paralyzing, fucking awful. My nose, teeth, cheeks, and skull hurt so bad that my thighs shake, my heart pounds, I sweat, want to throw up something awful, and feel like running away (like that will help, it will just follow me) or at least laying down under my desk. When it happens at work, the level of panic and things that go running through my head such as how the hell would I make it home even if I could get someone to come to cover for me. I think of calling Mike and having him come get me, but in the end I take a Lortab and maybe a sliver of Phenergan for the nausea and sit at my desk with an ice bag on my head until I can function again.

I'm in the middle of six days off. I saw my doctor on Thursday. She have me a new drug that is sometimes used for nerve pain. I'm supposed to take it three times a day. The first time I took it, I was dizzy and kind of loopy. I want to give the drug a good shot because I cannot work like this but I must work. The drug is called Lyrica. Isn't that a happy name? It sounds lovely. It doesn't make me loopy any more but when I go to bed at night I'm down for 12 hours. I'd rather not sleep for 12 hours so I hope that side effect goes away.

So I'm trying this medication on my mini-vacation. I wanted to shampoo the carpets and wash the dogs. But I'm doing school work (such a good student), laying down...washing dishes....laying down....vacuuming my bedroom....laying down. I am going to clean this frigging (frig just for you Mom) house this week. We are going on vacation in two weeks and I want the house clean first.